True Beauty - Personal Post
Today we had an important conversation between a queen and her protege about true beauty. (I am the queen of our home, and I try to consider myself as training a future queen).
I was trying on different hats this morning, lately they make me feel more decorated and beautiful and that is self-care. One hat is a sleep cap and with some creative movement, can also be a daily accessory. In her 3, almost 4 year old mind, this is just not the way things work. She got angry, she threw herself down and insisted I cannot wear that hat! I was not pretty!
I gently picked her up and carried her to our bedroom and shut the door behind me. (When she is emotionally out of control, we do this to help her calm down and have a conversation). She resisted, but I told her we would leave the room together when she was calm and we had talked. She continued to try to leave the room, so I simply sat in front of the door. When she tried to hit me, I picked her up and put her on our bed and said I would not allow her to hurt me. She rolled on the bed for a few moments then sat up calm, but in a posture that said she thought she was about to get a condemning lecture. So I started where God starts with me every single time I need correction.
“Annabelle, I love you.”
Still looking down, she nodded.
“Annabelle, I love you.”
“Annabelle, look at my eyes. I love you… I love you… I love you!”
As I continued to repeat that phrase into her heart, she started to smile and so did I. Now that our foundation was strong, we could talk.
I asked her where beauty comes from, which confused her because she knows the word beautiful and pretty, but apparently beauty was too close to booty! Haha! I asked her what makes someone pretty. She didn’t know…
I told her that being beautiful was something that came from inside a person first. Showing love makes us beautiful, being kind and generous and grateful and even making people laugh can make us beautiful. I told her I could wear a paper sack on my head and still be beautiful.
As we talked more it came out that she was worried that since she is the future queen (we talk in governmental terms in our home to establish a higher sense of identity in ourselves and our children) that she would have to wear this hat one day and she didn’t want to because she just didn’t like it at all. I told her she didn’t have to wear it ever if she didn’t want to. But I also explained to her that she didn’t have to like something someone is wearing in order to be kind to them. And we talked about some ways to be kind. She told me she would try to like the hat, but I told her she didn’t have to like it. We only should choose to use our words to show love as often as we can.
When we wrapped up, I offered her the chance to do some calming breathing exercises together because she had been a bit grouchy all morning. She came and hugged me and said, “I think I’m feeling much better now mom.” And we went about our day.
In toddler mom life, little wins can be so huge. I loved this one today. Not only did it help my girl feel loved and heard, but it planted seeds of the very big and important destiny she so clearly has (as do all of our children). I think it helped her consider a profound concept that her little mind has not yet fully constructed or comprehended, but I think the blocks she is building with are so important and today, we made some good blocks! Haha!
I’d love to hear some of your parenting wins! Comment below or message me about them!